A modest single-storey house with a worn porch, peeling paint, and bars on the windows — tired, but standing.The buyer
Tired, not condemned. We buy these too.

The other end of the address

Who's actually buying these houses?

A small company with a specific appetite: Beat Up Home Buyer, LLC, a direct cash buyer. We buy beat-up houses with our own money, for our own portfolio, and we close at a title company like anybody buying anything. No listings, no lead reselling, no brokerage — if we knock on a door, it's because we want that exact house.

The twist is how we find them. Anyone who spots a house that looks done — tarp on the roof, yard gone feral, mail winning — can send us the address. If we end up buying it, the person who sent it first gets 1% of the purchase price at closing. That is the entire org chart: people who notice houses, and us.

No headshots here. You're not sending us an address because of our haircuts.

House rules

How we operate.

  1. We buy it ourselves

    Our own cash, our own portfolio. We are the end of the chain — not a middleman shopping your address around.

  2. We knock once

    A letter, a call, a knock. An owner who says never again goes on a permanent do-not-contact list — a real switch in our database, not a line in a policy.

  3. The spotter gets 1%, from escrow

    Written into the closing statement at the title company and paid the day the seller is paid. Not net-90. Not a gift card.

  4. Nobody gets named

    The owner never learns who sent the address. The spotter never learns a thing about the owner. Both halves of that are load-bearing.

  5. If it dies, nobody pays

    No closing, no bounty — and every dollar spent chasing it was ours. You can't lose money here. Only we can.

The paperwork

The entity.

Boring on purpose. The jokes stop at the closing table.

Legal name
Beat Up Home Buyer, LLC
What we are
A direct cash buyer. Not a brokerage, not an agent, not a lead seller.

Entity registration, license details, and service area publish here when the ink dries.

Go look out a window.

You already know a house. You've known it for years. It takes forty seconds, and it might be worth one percent of a house.

1% on close

No account needed · No ownership required · Paid on close